On most cruises, the comedian is sent off to perform the first evening, sacrificed at the alter of weary travelers whose sense of humor has been stripped from them after cramped airline flights, lost luggage, Houston humidity and the boarding process.  Fred got lucky.  None of us had any clue who he was, so we didn't want to risk starting the cruise off badly by putting somebody lame on.  Instead, we scheduled Fred for Day Five and allowed him to wander around the ship, lost, the entire week. 

Fred isn't your typical comedian.  If you have spent any time with your merely average stand-up comedian, you're dealing with somebody who is always performing, always looking to get a rise out of you, begging for your attention and acceptance.  Fred lays low.  Fred is confident and relaxed.  For five days, Fred gave us no idea what to expect.  We were terrified.  Fred was serious.  Fred was quiet.  Fred didn't seem right.  

Based on this week of observation, I skipped Fred's show.  I took a nap instead.  Between shows, I grabbed a bite in the crew mess.  The staff couldn't stop talking about Fred.  He was hilarious.  Amazing. They couldn't wait to see him again. 

Huh?  Really?  REALLY.  I caught the second show.  I laughed so much it hurt.  My face cramped from the overuse of my smile muscles.  And you need to know something else.  Yes, he cut off the mullet, but that's not what I'm talking about...

Fred's show is clean.  REALLY.  Count all the truly funny, CLEAN comedians you know.  Use all your fingers and toes.  Did you get past the first hand?  Didn't think so...

So who IS Fred Klett?  Well, I know a few things, but I couldn't piece together a life story.  Here's what I know...

• Fred is one of ten children.  Ten.  REALLY.
• Fred can't slam a basketball, but he's a better basketball player than I am.  I don't think that's a compliment.
• Fred can whip up one great pot of Vindaloo. 
• Fred has an amazing wife, Nance, who has more patience than any one woman I have ever known. 
• Fred is FUNNY.  If you haven't caught his act, you should. 

There is probably more to say, but this should get you by for a while.  When I think of something else interesting to say, you will probably see it here.

- Joe Brookhouse

  March 18, 2004